Bullying: Another homicide-by-proxy

No one story about a victim of bullying represents them all. Miguel Rodriguez of Spring Hill, Fla., is one of the latest at this writing:



When I first referred to myself as having survived school (K-12), I meant it figuratively. I didn't realize that the word survived had literal meaning until I first heard of a suicide that stemmed from continual bullying. What struck a nerve for me was hearing a friend in the above video recall telling Miguel, "Just ignore it." Mind you, that friend is not to blame. She merely passed on what society tells us to say and what I've written on before (see posts labeled "Discounting Feelings.")

I call these cases "homicides by proxy" because I strongly believe that the torment that others subjected to the suicide victim are what drove the poor fellow to kill himself. It cannot be called "murder by proxy" unless the perpetrators intended the target to die. They're negligent. As public awareness about the effect of taunts and bullying goes up, however, their offense may go up to depraved indifference. Sadly, I don't think any jurisdiction recognizes homicide-by-proxy either in civil or criminal court. The folks who discount feelings fall into a grey area because they think they're being helpful: One more symptom of the disease of our culture in which stoicism is imposed on others. By now, a dozen years into the 21st Century, adults should have had plenty of opportunity to teach our children what not to say to others. Miguel's friend shouldn't have had to learn the hard way.

The latest data from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention are that over 38,000 people committed suicide in the U.S. in 2010. Thirty-eight thousand! That is more than the populations of 87 of the 92 counties in Nebraska (A bit more than half the population of Council Bluffs, Iowa)! Of course, most of these involve situations other than schoolyard bullying (some followed workplace bullying).

Since the last time I blogged about this, little improvement if any has been made. How many more have to die before we shift our don't-let-it-get-to-you mindset?

Storm claims several homes

Friday's extreme thunderstorm with its 80-mph winds spared my home. A neighbor wasn't so fortunate. Three uprooted 100-ft cottonwood trees hammered his property; one of them landed square on his house and the pickup truck in his driveway.

City crews swept in the next day and cleared much of the debris amid onlookers that came after media publicity turned my street into a twisted tourist attraction. (About half the city population was without electricity; the other half whose TVs still worked took turns driving by.)

It looks like only 1/4 of the house was destroyed; it is unknown whether it's repairable or if hidden structural damage has rendered the building beyond repair. The pickup truck looks as if a locomotive plowed into it.

My neighbor, R., is a good fellow who goes out of his way to help others and has kept his property well and provided assistance to others on the block (including myself) with our groundskeeping. Meanwhile, a nearby public nuisance and alleged "drug house" that collects graffiti and trash (the vehicular and human kind as well as what overfills the Dumpster) was untouched. The unfairness digs at me.

But the most important things were unscathed: R. and his beloved dog. Their survival puts a perspective on the whole disater.