Bullying: Another homicide-by-proxy

No one story about a victim of bullying represents them all. Miguel Rodriguez of Spring Hill, Fla., is one of the latest at this writing:



When I first referred to myself as having survived school (K-12), I meant it figuratively. I didn't realize that the word survived had literal meaning until I first heard of a suicide that stemmed from continual bullying. What struck a nerve for me was hearing a friend in the above video recall telling Miguel, "Just ignore it." Mind you, that friend is not to blame. She merely passed on what society tells us to say and what I've written on before (see posts labeled "Discounting Feelings.")

I call these cases "homicides by proxy" because I strongly believe that the torment that others subjected to the suicide victim are what drove the poor fellow to kill himself. It cannot be called "murder by proxy" unless the perpetrators intended the target to die. They're negligent. As public awareness about the effect of taunts and bullying goes up, however, their offense may go up to depraved indifference. Sadly, I don't think any jurisdiction recognizes homicide-by-proxy either in civil or criminal court. The folks who discount feelings fall into a grey area because they think they're being helpful: One more symptom of the disease of our culture in which stoicism is imposed on others. By now, a dozen years into the 21st Century, adults should have had plenty of opportunity to teach our children what not to say to others. Miguel's friend shouldn't have had to learn the hard way.

The latest data from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention are that over 38,000 people committed suicide in the U.S. in 2010. Thirty-eight thousand! That is more than the populations of 87 of the 92 counties in Nebraska (A bit more than half the population of Council Bluffs, Iowa)! Of course, most of these involve situations other than schoolyard bullying (some followed workplace bullying).

Since the last time I blogged about this, little improvement if any has been made. How many more have to die before we shift our don't-let-it-get-to-you mindset?

Caregivers: Some advice to avoid

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it"-- Charles Swindoll
"Oh, shut uuup!" -- Skunk Totem to Charles Swindoll

The author of this crap needs to walk in my shoes (and those of many of the others who have already responded) not for a mile, but until [response self-censored]. I guess I cannot add much that hasn't already been said, and although our outrage may be justified, it's no excuse for me to blast her with verbal skunk spray.


Despite advances in psychiatry/medicine that shows the origin of emotional stress is brain function and that it leads to physical illness, the mindset illustrated by Ms. Whiteside and Charles Swindoll is harder to eradicate than AIDS, chicken pox and shingles (not the building material).

I'm never surprised to hear when a person thought to be cheerful and upbeat commits suicide. Those folks have learned to hide it because expressing their feelings yields this junk. The fact that people actually make money writing it makes me furious.