Dispicable Mocking of Special-Needs Student

I use AOL and its news page displayed the following:

"Jeremy Hollinger, a special education teacher in Mobile, Ala., is facing criticism after allegedly posting material on Facebook mocking special needs students, WALA-TV reports."

This is not going to help me learn to like or accept Facebook.

Kids in special ed are especially vulnerable to the effects of child abuse, no matter who commits it. The very act of segregating such kids, particularly those who have sufficient mental capacity to be aware that they are apart from "normal" pupils, can be hurtful.

I could spend hours writing about this topic. Suffice it to say (for now) that teachers have a substantial influence (good, bad, neutral) on child development. Not only that, but the bad ones sully the entire profession. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that such jerks make up a minority of the profession.

Toyota Highlander Kid Sucks

I don't think I could write anything new with regard to contempt for the recent advertising for the new Toyota Highlander. (If you haven't seen them, the ads star an eight-year-old boy with messy reddish-blond hair disparaging other vehicles: his message to parents: You don't have to be lame, buy a new Highlander.) In fact, when it comes to Internet "rant" articles on the subject, it's impossible to tell whether the authors have plagiarized one another. This fellow pretty much word for word sums up why the ad is so annoying and presents the wrong message to parents: Ad Rage. It has received widespread condemnation, including online parents' magazines and even Time. It's hardly a favorable message about American culture when one of the world's biggest manufacturers thinks that this ad will boost Highlander sales.

Update: I don't know how I missed this article from AutoTrader.com: "Is Toyota Lame for Calling Parents Lame?" (November 10, 2010). That article quotes a Toyota spokesperson who responded, in part, "Our values as a company have always been to put our customers first and provide them the highest levels of respect and understanding." But just a few sentences downstream (after blathering about "research") he includes, "While we regret that the ads have been misconstrued as insensitive [and] we don’t have any plans at this time to discontinue the campaign (emphasis mine)." So much for providing the highest levels of respect and understanding. C'mon, Toyota, you don't have to give us an apology on the front page of the New York Times, just yank the damn ads! The only car that brat would inspire me to buy is a secondhand Buick Roadmaster station wagon.

Unseen effects of employment discrimination

This is the third time a window on this vehicle has been hit by vandals in the dark of the night. The owner is a foreclosure refugee. He lives with friends on a block developed before the Model T; the houses have no driveways and residents must park on the street. Apparently window-shooting is a sport among local lowlifes.

A couple years ago, the guy who owns it was a top candidate for a job, but the would-be employer discriminated against him on account of his credit record. With that job, he would have caught up on mortgage payments. That means Wells Fartgo (WF or WTF?) would not have foreclosed on his house (with an attached garage). The employer ass-umed that this applicant's bad credit signaled a thief. Congratulations, dumbasses: Instead of preventing crime, you in effect caused three cases of vandalism and an attempted burglary (foreclosed-on buildings attract trouble).

Spray Bill O'Reilly: Watch Sean Penn Movies

FUX News announcer Bill O'Reilly has decided to boycott Sean Penn movies because the actor's political activities offend him.

As a moderate liberal, I'm routinely offended by this anchor whom MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann refers to as "Billo the Clown." I was a captive audience to Billo's radio broadcast while riding in the back seat of an SUV with a pair of relatives. I can imagine an Enterprise Rent-a-Car commercial showing the guy in this kind of situation bailing out at a stop light, ringing Enterprise on his cell phone, and getting into his rented, made-in-USA Chevy as the voiceover says, "We'll pick you up!"

I'm not a Sean Penn fan but generally don't support boycotts. They don't work. But I'm inclined to hunt down a Penn movie that wouldn't constitute cutting off my nose to spite my face, just to give Billo some skunk spray.

Homeowner kills herself after bank foreclosed on her.

A tragic story about Carlene Balderrama, a foreclosed homeowner who committed suicide. While the bank can't bear all the blame, I can't help but wonder if they could have done more to work out a payment arrangement. How big was the mortgage debt compared to the bank's profits? It's hard to believe a spouse and parent would take oneself away from his or her loved ones unless one absolutely couldn't see another way out.

Sadly, this probably isn't the last time that a foreclosure turns lethal. I've written before on how our society could do a lot better at handling depressed and suicidal people. These deaths are preventable - but not by giving the person the message that there is something wrong with the way he or she feels.

I feel for Mrs. Balderrama and her family.

Thought for the Day - Aug. 5, 2008

It's easier to say "you misunderstood/are overreacting" than "I'm sorry."

The Case Against Saying "Don't Let it Get to You"

"College Junior's Suicide Leaves Friends, Family Asking, 'Why?' " How often have we encountered headlines like this—with the media admonishing to avoid becoming the next statistic by talking to someone when overwhelmed with hopelessness? Though I would never encourage anyone to take one's own life, I'm rarely surprised that the person in question kept quiet.

Despite lip service to the contrary, our get-over-it culture is not very good at answering a despairing soul's pleas for help. We're told to talk it out with someone, but when we do, too often we get platitudes that defeat their speaker's intention of helping us feel better. Appropriate distress at hearing that one is a danger to self or others can lead to "why would you" questions, denial, or admonition ("Don't think like that!"). If I were suicidal, even anticipating such reactions would silence me. Likewise for preaching that suicide is the wrong choice.

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Never say that. Despite the altruistic intention to convince the person that the situation has nonlethal solutions, the despondent person perceives it as pooh-poohing her ordeal: "What makes you think my problem is temporary? Do you know how it will be resolved? No? Then stop pretending to know more about my life than I do!"

"Suicide is stupid/selfish." If I had one reason to consider stupid a swearword, this would be it. I remember an otherwise decent person whose condemnation of suicidal people bit like a blast of Midwestern winter wind. I acknowledge that suicide hurts those left behind. But many who kill themselves were beset by a depressive medical disorder. Snapping out of it is more than a matter of will. Some people think they're being anything but stupid or selfish: twenty years ago, I was beset with episodes of feeling that I should spare scores of innocents the unpleasantness of being around me in the future. Positive interactions with people ended these thoughts. Being criticized for my feelings accomplished nothing.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself!" This is another disincentive to voice not only despair but letdowns such as not getting that raise or your car breaking down or…whatever. English is replete with phrases like "don't let it get to you" and "times like this make us stronger." How many folks grew up without hearing about starving children in [your parents' favorite locale] or being told, "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can't hurt you"? Pessimism brings admonishment to think positive. But even sharing an ambition or dream invites another kind of wisdom: "I hate to burst your bubble, but...," or "Why would you want that?" The urge to help people in this fashion isn't confined to English-speaking countries. After I took offense at a coworker's taunts, another coworker—from Asia—told me, "You take things too serious [sic]." Such statements imply that if you are hurt by another's incivility, it's your fault. Baloney. But objecting yields more clichés: "I'm trying to help you." (Maybe so, but it isn't working.)

Some of these zingers are illogical. Suppose I really am oversensitive. Would telling me so really make me realize I need to toughen up? Or just lead me to beat myself up or brand the critic as an insensitive a-hole? Someone taking umbrage at rude store clerks or aggressive drivers often gets told, "Don't take it personally," That isn't necessarily the case: they're offended because the incivility is wrong. Retaliation is inexcusable, but I get tired of counselors and wellness "experts" implying that if someone else offends you, it's your fault.

We're taught as children about table manners, please-and-thank-you, et cetera. But schooling on how to comfort people and guide them out of a problem seems inadequate, as evidenced by all the "You shoulds/shouldn'ts" and even cookie-cutter uplifters like "You can do anything you set your mind to." They roll off the tongue as if by automation. I can't get mad at someone saying them because they're heart's in the right place. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like they're really listening and if I anticipate such a response, I'm inclined to keep my feelings inside. Not that that does any good.

About 29,000 Americans kill themselves per year, presumably after feeling either that their tunnel would never end or the light up ahead turned out to be an oncoming train. And whenever I hear of a suicide, I can't help wonder if the last thing he heard was "don't let it get to you."