Thought for the day:

Throw a skunk under the bus, and you forfeit the right to complain about the stink raised as a consequence.

Bullying: Another homicide-by-proxy

No one story about a victim of bullying represents them all. Miguel Rodriguez of Spring Hill, Fla., is one of the latest at this writing:



When I first referred to myself as having survived school (K-12), I meant it figuratively. I didn't realize that the word survived had literal meaning until I first heard of a suicide that stemmed from continual bullying. What struck a nerve for me was hearing a friend in the above video recall telling Miguel, "Just ignore it." Mind you, that friend is not to blame. She merely passed on what society tells us to say and what I've written on before (see posts labeled "Discounting Feelings.")

I call these cases "homicides by proxy" because I strongly believe that the torment that others subjected to the suicide victim are what drove the poor fellow to kill himself. It cannot be called "murder by proxy" unless the perpetrators intended the target to die. They're negligent. As public awareness about the effect of taunts and bullying goes up, however, their offense may go up to depraved indifference. Sadly, I don't think any jurisdiction recognizes homicide-by-proxy either in civil or criminal court. The folks who discount feelings fall into a grey area because they think they're being helpful: One more symptom of the disease of our culture in which stoicism is imposed on others. By now, a dozen years into the 21st Century, adults should have had plenty of opportunity to teach our children what not to say to others. Miguel's friend shouldn't have had to learn the hard way.

The latest data from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention are that over 38,000 people committed suicide in the U.S. in 2010. Thirty-eight thousand! That is more than the populations of 87 of the 92 counties in Nebraska (A bit more than half the population of Council Bluffs, Iowa)! Of course, most of these involve situations other than schoolyard bullying (some followed workplace bullying).

Since the last time I blogged about this, little improvement if any has been made. How many more have to die before we shift our don't-let-it-get-to-you mindset?

Caregivers: Some advice to avoid

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it"-- Charles Swindoll
"Oh, shut uuup!" -- Skunk Totem to Charles Swindoll

The author of this crap needs to walk in my shoes (and those of many of the others who have already responded) not for a mile, but until [response self-censored]. I guess I cannot add much that hasn't already been said, and although our outrage may be justified, it's no excuse for me to blast her with verbal skunk spray.


Despite advances in psychiatry/medicine that shows the origin of emotional stress is brain function and that it leads to physical illness, the mindset illustrated by Ms. Whiteside and Charles Swindoll is harder to eradicate than AIDS, chicken pox and shingles (not the building material).

I'm never surprised to hear when a person thought to be cheerful and upbeat commits suicide. Those folks have learned to hide it because expressing their feelings yields this junk. The fact that people actually make money writing it makes me furious.

A Skunk's Visit is Welcome

This big beautiful boy stopped in for a drink from the water dish set out for the feral cats. The picture quality suffers because it was taken through a storm door. Couldn't open the door or he'd let me have it! More important, he just wanted to quench his thirst and there aren't too many water sources around here. Even the cats respected him, albeit grudgingly.

After getting his drink, he just went about his business.

Life doesn't offer treats like this often enough. Gotta enjoy 'em when we get 'em.

Dispicable Mocking of Special-Needs Student

I use AOL and its news page displayed the following:

"Jeremy Hollinger, a special education teacher in Mobile, Ala., is facing criticism after allegedly posting material on Facebook mocking special needs students, WALA-TV reports."

This is not going to help me learn to like or accept Facebook.

Kids in special ed are especially vulnerable to the effects of child abuse, no matter who commits it. The very act of segregating such kids, particularly those who have sufficient mental capacity to be aware that they are apart from "normal" pupils, can be hurtful.

I could spend hours writing about this topic. Suffice it to say (for now) that teachers have a substantial influence (good, bad, neutral) on child development. Not only that, but the bad ones sully the entire profession. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that such jerks make up a minority of the profession.

Beware Questionable Package Notices

Received by a friend today. This "Delivery Notice!" sent up yellow flags because it has no service name (UPS, the Postal Service, etc.), nor does it contain a manufacturer or vendor name. The only packages we are expecting would come either by UPS or USPS and have the sender's name and address on them. It only says to call Dion Lesote at 402-689-8370.

I called the number (after using the "Caller ID" block on my phone to remain anonymous). only to hear a leave-your-name-number-message instruction typical for a home answering machine. I guess that is how they circumvent the problem of callers slamming the phone down upon hearing a recorded sales pitch.

I wonder if anyone knows more about this person.

The Columbus Dispatch had an article on a similar notice circulating in their area, warning consumers not to respond. (The notice Ohio residents got used an 800 number.)

Skunk Totem's Blog: A Twitter-Free, Facebook-Free Zone

I'm sick of Twitter and Facebook. More accurately, I'm sick of the craze that seems to obligate everyone to use social networking. Fans even dare to assert that shunning Facebook is a kiss of death to your career. It reminds me of the Borg in Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!"

At least the Borg are fiction.

I hope that Twitter and Facebook go the way of CB radio. (CB remains the ideal communications medium for truck drivers and volunteer emergency responders; it just isn't a dictatorial fad like in the late 1970s. So I'm not wishing TW and FB out of existence)

I'm hardly alone. Read this Omaha World-Herald article on the Slow Media Movement. It quotes and journalism professor Jennifer Rauch: "The movement attracts people who feel 'that some sort of boundaries need to be set;' that technologies should be chosen, not embraced blindly; should serve, not be served."

No, I don't drive a '72 Pinto with an 8-track player. I don't have a black-and-white TV. And if I hated the Internet, you wouldn't be reading this. But I am content with my Stupid Phone and a computer that must be plugged in. If I wrote books, I'd have them available on Kindle (but I read the old fashioned kind: no batteries required.) I, Ms. Rauch, and other "Slow Media" advocates bristle that we are Luddites or even "anti-broadband." We just want to take our technology in smaller doses. I love peanut butter, but that doesn't mean I want three pounds of it in one sitting or to put it on everything I eat.

Forget Nostradumbass prophecies: I figure we'll be doomed when the Old Order Amish are on Facebook.