Thought for the day:

Throw a skunk under the bus, and you forfeit the right to complain about the stink raised as a consequence.

Bullying: Another homicide-by-proxy

No one story about a victim of bullying represents them all. Miguel Rodriguez of Spring Hill, Fla., is one of the latest at this writing:



When I first referred to myself as having survived school (K-12), I meant it figuratively. I didn't realize that the word survived had literal meaning until I first heard of a suicide that stemmed from continual bullying. What struck a nerve for me was hearing a friend in the above video recall telling Miguel, "Just ignore it." Mind you, that friend is not to blame. She merely passed on what society tells us to say and what I've written on before (see posts labeled "Discounting Feelings.")

I call these cases "homicides by proxy" because I strongly believe that the torment that others subjected to the suicide victim are what drove the poor fellow to kill himself. It cannot be called "murder by proxy" unless the perpetrators intended the target to die. They're negligent. As public awareness about the effect of taunts and bullying goes up, however, their offense may go up to depraved indifference. Sadly, I don't think any jurisdiction recognizes homicide-by-proxy either in civil or criminal court. The folks who discount feelings fall into a grey area because they think they're being helpful: One more symptom of the disease of our culture in which stoicism is imposed on others. By now, a dozen years into the 21st Century, adults should have had plenty of opportunity to teach our children what not to say to others. Miguel's friend shouldn't have had to learn the hard way.

The latest data from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention are that over 38,000 people committed suicide in the U.S. in 2010. Thirty-eight thousand! That is more than the populations of 87 of the 92 counties in Nebraska (A bit more than half the population of Council Bluffs, Iowa)! Of course, most of these involve situations other than schoolyard bullying (some followed workplace bullying).

Since the last time I blogged about this, little improvement if any has been made. How many more have to die before we shift our don't-let-it-get-to-you mindset?

Caregivers: Some advice to avoid

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it"-- Charles Swindoll
"Oh, shut uuup!" -- Skunk Totem to Charles Swindoll

The author of this crap needs to walk in my shoes (and those of many of the others who have already responded) not for a mile, but until [response self-censored]. I guess I cannot add much that hasn't already been said, and although our outrage may be justified, it's no excuse for me to blast her with verbal skunk spray.


Despite advances in psychiatry/medicine that shows the origin of emotional stress is brain function and that it leads to physical illness, the mindset illustrated by Ms. Whiteside and Charles Swindoll is harder to eradicate than AIDS, chicken pox and shingles (not the building material).

I'm never surprised to hear when a person thought to be cheerful and upbeat commits suicide. Those folks have learned to hide it because expressing their feelings yields this junk. The fact that people actually make money writing it makes me furious.

A Skunk's Visit is Welcome

This big beautiful boy stopped in for a drink from the water dish set out for the feral cats. The picture quality suffers because it was taken through a storm door. Couldn't open the door or he'd let me have it! More important, he just wanted to quench his thirst and there aren't too many water sources around here. Even the cats respected him, albeit grudgingly.

After getting his drink, he just went about his business.

Life doesn't offer treats like this often enough. Gotta enjoy 'em when we get 'em.

Dispicable Mocking of Special-Needs Student

I use AOL and its news page displayed the following:

"Jeremy Hollinger, a special education teacher in Mobile, Ala., is facing criticism after allegedly posting material on Facebook mocking special needs students, WALA-TV reports."

This is not going to help me learn to like or accept Facebook.

Kids in special ed are especially vulnerable to the effects of child abuse, no matter who commits it. The very act of segregating such kids, particularly those who have sufficient mental capacity to be aware that they are apart from "normal" pupils, can be hurtful.

I could spend hours writing about this topic. Suffice it to say (for now) that teachers have a substantial influence (good, bad, neutral) on child development. Not only that, but the bad ones sully the entire profession. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that such jerks make up a minority of the profession.

Beware Questionable Package Notices

Received by a friend today. This "Delivery Notice!" sent up yellow flags because it has no service name (UPS, the Postal Service, etc.), nor does it contain a manufacturer or vendor name. The only packages we are expecting would come either by UPS or USPS and have the sender's name and address on them. It only says to call Dion Lesote at 402-689-8370.

I called the number (after using the "Caller ID" block on my phone to remain anonymous). only to hear a leave-your-name-number-message instruction typical for a home answering machine. I guess that is how they circumvent the problem of callers slamming the phone down upon hearing a recorded sales pitch.

I wonder if anyone knows more about this person.

The Columbus Dispatch had an article on a similar notice circulating in their area, warning consumers not to respond. (The notice Ohio residents got used an 800 number.)

Skunk Totem's Blog: A Twitter-Free, Facebook-Free Zone

I'm sick of Twitter and Facebook. More accurately, I'm sick of the craze that seems to obligate everyone to use social networking. Fans even dare to assert that shunning Facebook is a kiss of death to your career. It reminds me of the Borg in Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!"

At least the Borg are fiction.

I hope that Twitter and Facebook go the way of CB radio. (CB remains the ideal communications medium for truck drivers and volunteer emergency responders; it just isn't a dictatorial fad like in the late 1970s. So I'm not wishing TW and FB out of existence)

I'm hardly alone. Read this Omaha World-Herald article on the Slow Media Movement. It quotes and journalism professor Jennifer Rauch: "The movement attracts people who feel 'that some sort of boundaries need to be set;' that technologies should be chosen, not embraced blindly; should serve, not be served."

No, I don't drive a '72 Pinto with an 8-track player. I don't have a black-and-white TV. And if I hated the Internet, you wouldn't be reading this. But I am content with my Stupid Phone and a computer that must be plugged in. If I wrote books, I'd have them available on Kindle (but I read the old fashioned kind: no batteries required.) I, Ms. Rauch, and other "Slow Media" advocates bristle that we are Luddites or even "anti-broadband." We just want to take our technology in smaller doses. I love peanut butter, but that doesn't mean I want three pounds of it in one sitting or to put it on everything I eat.

Forget Nostradumbass prophecies: I figure we'll be doomed when the Old Order Amish are on Facebook.

Toyota Highlander Kid Sucks

I don't think I could write anything new with regard to contempt for the recent advertising for the new Toyota Highlander. (If you haven't seen them, the ads star an eight-year-old boy with messy reddish-blond hair disparaging other vehicles: his message to parents: You don't have to be lame, buy a new Highlander.) In fact, when it comes to Internet "rant" articles on the subject, it's impossible to tell whether the authors have plagiarized one another. This fellow pretty much word for word sums up why the ad is so annoying and presents the wrong message to parents: Ad Rage. It has received widespread condemnation, including online parents' magazines and even Time. It's hardly a favorable message about American culture when one of the world's biggest manufacturers thinks that this ad will boost Highlander sales.

Update: I don't know how I missed this article from AutoTrader.com: "Is Toyota Lame for Calling Parents Lame?" (November 10, 2010). That article quotes a Toyota spokesperson who responded, in part, "Our values as a company have always been to put our customers first and provide them the highest levels of respect and understanding." But just a few sentences downstream (after blathering about "research") he includes, "While we regret that the ads have been misconstrued as insensitive [and] we don’t have any plans at this time to discontinue the campaign (emphasis mine)." So much for providing the highest levels of respect and understanding. C'mon, Toyota, you don't have to give us an apology on the front page of the New York Times, just yank the damn ads! The only car that brat would inspire me to buy is a secondhand Buick Roadmaster station wagon.

Unseen effects of employment discrimination

This is the third time a window on this vehicle has been hit by vandals in the dark of the night. The owner is a foreclosure refugee. He lives with friends on a block developed before the Model T; the houses have no driveways and residents must park on the street. Apparently window-shooting is a sport among local lowlifes.

A couple years ago, the guy who owns it was a top candidate for a job, but the would-be employer discriminated against him on account of his credit record. With that job, he would have caught up on mortgage payments. That means Wells Fartgo (WF or WTF?) would not have foreclosed on his house (with an attached garage). The employer ass-umed that this applicant's bad credit signaled a thief. Congratulations, dumbasses: Instead of preventing crime, you in effect caused three cases of vandalism and an attempted burglary (foreclosed-on buildings attract trouble).

A Long Overdue Tribute to Ted Andrews

Noted writer and teacher Ted Andrews passed away last October. I did not learn about it until some time later.

Ted's famous book, Animal Speak, inspired me to choose Skunk Totem as the name of this blog. It made apparent that the skunk is one of my major animal totems. I think if I were an animal, I probably would have ended up being a skunk. This often misunderstood (like me) animal teaches how to give and demand respect, and live peacefully among others. (Despite its reputation, skunks are pacifist animals and only spray in self-defense, usually as a last resort. They typically reciprocate how we treat them--good or bad).

Ted's legacy will live on.

OWLTHENA'S ROOST: Ted Andrews dies

Employee Screening Questions Too Intrusive

I just filled out an online application for a major retail chain and, after the main application where I submitted my legitimate information, came across the "personality screening" section that included the following:

• You have big regrets about your past.
  
• You were absent very few days from high school.
  
• Your stuff is often kind of messy.
  
• You have always had good behavior in school or work.
  
• Your friends and family approve of the things you do.
  
• You have to give up on some things that you start.
  
• You look back and feel bad about things you've done.
  
• You sometimes thought seriously about quitting high school.

The answer choices were "Strongly Agree," "Agree," "Disagree," and "Strongly Disagree." You couldn't weasel your way out with a choice like "Neutral" or "Neither."

Personally, I wish there had been one labeled, "None of your damn business!"

After that one about quitting high school, I stopped worrying about whether they'd like my answers or not. I'm not sure I want to work for a company that weeds people out based on how they click radio buttons on a web form before they actually get to meet me in person or talk to people who actually know me.

Nostradamus? More like Nostradangerous

"When ancient prophecies and current events begin to intertwine, that's what we call the Nostradamus Effect." That is The History Channel's advertisement for its series The Nostradamus Effect. In it, the writings of Nostradamus as well as creative interpretations of the Mayan calendar hint that the end of the world will be December 21, 2012.

I say, when Christians forget Christ's warning about false prophets (Mt 7:15-20), that "you will hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that you are not alarmed; for this must take place, but the end is not yet (Mt 24:6)," and "but of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only (Mt 24:36)," and instead turn to "prophets" whose ambiguous writings can be molded to have "predicted" numerous calamities, and ignoring artifacts that don't fit the doom-and-gloom (some Mayan artifacts indicate the world will still be around in 4772), that is what I call the Nostradangerous Effect.

Following Nostradamus may indeed be dangerous: How many people have committed suicide, ignored health problems, let their houses fall apart, pour money into smart phones, self-navigating cars and other here-and-now luxuries they can't afford instead of saving for the future, because they believe there is no future? Could this be adding fuel to the fire of the consumer credit problem? How many marriages and other relationships between believers and nonbelievers have broken up? I shudder to think.

Liberal Christians, take heart

Michael Moore recently identified himself as Catholic. Some people might be amazed. I am not.

I am an alumnus of Regis University and Creighton University—Jesuit institutions. As a student, I was exposed to organizations like Pax Christi and others providing outreach to American Indian nations, the poor and oppressed both in the U.S. and abroad. Whether one participates in these or not, the message was clear, at least to me: Catholicism (and Christianity in general) is about reaching out to others, to social and economic justice for everyone.

My significant other often laments, “Lord save me from ‘good Christians.’ ” The term “good Christians” has to be in quotes because she means those who wear the mask of religious righteousness and push their values on others. Quick to pass judgment on everyone, they conveniently forget Jesus’s admonition that “as you judge others, you too will be judged…” And of course, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

I can appreciate those who feel alienated by organized religion because of the churchgoing hypocrites who infest our society. A lawyer working for credit-card companies slapped a lien on my house is a fellow Creighton alum. Despite that, he decided that it’d be better for me to be homeless now than find a way for me to meet my debt obligation in a way that benefited both me and the creditor. I’m sure he rationalized that I deserved it.

The Christian quote that has run through my mind a lot lately is, “The love of money is the root of all evils.” Lots of people seem to have forgotten that one. Not just the aforementioned lawyer. Vise Grip tools now made in China while DeWitt, Neb., the former factory site, languishes in unemployment. Corporate executives like to blame liberal politicians and “big government” for “forcing” them to make these decisions. Rubbish. Without regulations, they’d still fatten their own wallets at the expense of the masses—and the environment.

This has been going on a long time. The Lakota Sioux got screwed out of the Black Hills after gold was discovered in their homeland. I assume that the perpetrators, being white guys, considered themselves Christian. But their spiritual leader’s admonition about the love of money was a little too inconvenient to remember.

Some people might think Mr. Moore should be excommunicated if for nothing else but for speaking up for reproductive rights and gay rights. No. I’m probably not the only one to see these as issues of personal, religious and medical ethics, out of the scope of law enforcement.

I say to Michael, “You go! Rock on!”

Ruling could undo thousands of foreclosures

Ruling could undo thousands of foreclosures

Shared via AddThis

Cheers to Massachusetts! Victims of Wells Fartgo have a chance to get their houses back! I hope this spreads nationwide! Maybe the new word of the coming months/year/decade will be forereopening!

Spray Bill O'Reilly: Watch Sean Penn Movies

FUX News announcer Bill O'Reilly has decided to boycott Sean Penn movies because the actor's political activities offend him.

As a moderate liberal, I'm routinely offended by this anchor whom MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann refers to as "Billo the Clown." I was a captive audience to Billo's radio broadcast while riding in the back seat of an SUV with a pair of relatives. I can imagine an Enterprise Rent-a-Car commercial showing the guy in this kind of situation bailing out at a stop light, ringing Enterprise on his cell phone, and getting into his rented, made-in-USA Chevy as the voiceover says, "We'll pick you up!"

I'm not a Sean Penn fan but generally don't support boycotts. They don't work. But I'm inclined to hunt down a Penn movie that wouldn't constitute cutting off my nose to spite my face, just to give Billo some skunk spray.

In Defense of Anonymity

My friend, SW Iowa Guy, frequently takes U.S. Congressman Steve King (R-Iowa) to task for various offensive stances. The right-wing, homophobic, racist King provides plenty of source material and SW Iowa Guy pulls no punches. On this post, some readers posted comments lambasting Iowa Guy for his King-bashing anonymously.
Iowa Guy's posts are often biting and contain quite a few swear words (As if I never do that...yeah right). True, some people speak strongly, even brashly, under their real names - Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter are examples. Keith Olbermann on MSNBC is a left-wing counterpart. Gloria Steinem or Molly Yard, anyone?
Critics often slap the coward label on those who speak strongly while hiding behind anonymity. But in many cases it's necessary: Putting out your name on truthful but highly controversial material can be dangerous. The last thing SW Iowa Guy needs to do is help his enemies find him. (He can't afford bodyguards or a high-tech security system - I assume that Fux News takes care of O'Reilly.)
SW and his partner have always been gay, long before his blog and when the word "website" evoked only images of spiders. I've been in their home; they've been in mine. (Yes, I have been alone with them. They're safe.) Their home is...dare I say, ordinary? Inside, nothing unusual about the furnishings or decor; nothing creepy goes on there. They have the same needs, fears and dreams as we who prefer the opposite sex. Despite all that, some anti-gay extremists would kill them if given a chance. Among gay bashers are devoutly religious folks who conveniently forget that "Thou shall not kill" makes no exception for gents who prefer gents or ladies who prefer ladies, and that Jesus said, "all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them (Matthew 7:12)." Non-homicidal homophobes might vandalize their home, vehicles—or do something to their beloved animal companions.
Bloodthirsty bigots aren't the only reason to use a nom de plume. How many sites and newspaper columnists warn about how indiscreet blogging can jeopardize your preset or future job? Can those steamy musings about your now-ex-girlfriend/boyfriend come back to haunt you? Your Web-savvy auto mechanic hates ferrets or your company’s computer tech supports Steve King—and suddenly a wheel falls off your car or your office PC never works right again? You get the idea. But why refrain from your First Amendment rights because of that?
Iowa's insult to Stephen King the novelist needs to have his sins aired—especially before Election Day. (Crap, I'm on the wrong side of the Missouri River.) SW Iowa Guy, more power to you!

Skunk Totem joins ACLU

I have just joined the American Civil Liberties Union. Like why didn't I do this long ago. Some of the ACLU's key points are some that I take personally: especially privacy and rights of the poor. This thing called the Patriot Act scares the crap out of me (would you believe 1 million people on the terrorism watch list? (Source: ACLU website). And you don't have to be an explicit threat to get on it. Meanwhile, an employer denied me a job because they labeled me a potential thief because of my credit record! Never mind that the 100% legal and moral income would have squelched my money problems; and the employer's high security would mean trying to steal would most likely make me a jailbird who'd get lampooned on Star 104.5's "Crooks are Stupid" feature.

Prohibition of gay marriage also hits a nerve. While I am heterosexual, two of my best friends, one of whom writes as SW Iowa Guy are a gay couple that of course don't have their marriage officially recognized. These are good people and the bigotry against them hurts. At the same time, I know some opposite-sex couples who are married by law only and I'm not even sure that God endorses their pairing.

OK, enough said.

Homeowner kills herself after bank foreclosed on her.

A tragic story about Carlene Balderrama, a foreclosed homeowner who committed suicide. While the bank can't bear all the blame, I can't help but wonder if they could have done more to work out a payment arrangement. How big was the mortgage debt compared to the bank's profits? It's hard to believe a spouse and parent would take oneself away from his or her loved ones unless one absolutely couldn't see another way out.

Sadly, this probably isn't the last time that a foreclosure turns lethal. I've written before on how our society could do a lot better at handling depressed and suicidal people. These deaths are preventable - but not by giving the person the message that there is something wrong with the way he or she feels.

I feel for Mrs. Balderrama and her family.

Thought for the Day - Aug. 5, 2008

It's easier to say "you misunderstood/are overreacting" than "I'm sorry."

Iowa Guy 2.0: Commemorating the Legacy of Dubya

If you pardon the pun, this post is a crapload of fun to read!
Iowa Guy 2.0: Commemorating the Legacy of....#links